Easily the most revolutionary technology
since the iPhone.
Real figures that definitely are not made up.
Thinner light weight
Beat that Apple.Look At Our Apple
Radical!That's Da Bomb
Lighter than their predecessor by a whole
Save Weight.Go Faster
Ready for three dimensions. It's like we've thought of everything.
Red, White, Blue and Polarized. If Betsy Ross was designing sunglasses and not the American flag, she would have created these.I Almost Just Shed a Tear
Fake figures that definitely are made up.
People Who Asked
"if these were polarized"
YES. Sheesh.Buy Them Already
Increase in fish you will claim to have caught:
I'm Hooked!Cast Your Line
Anticipated babies made because of these:
Get it on.For a Good Time Click
Is another word we know how to spell correctly.
And these puppies have a rainbow mirror and polarized lens that makes them easily the most radical Pit Vipers of all time.Oh S**t These Are Mine
The next generation of gold Pit Vipers.
The original gold mirror lens revolutionized Pit Vipers with copious 'bling'. This is the same but now it is harder to see the screen on your phone.Yay For Polarized Lenses
Prefer Windows 98 over macOS?Take Me There
What's the big woop? How come everyone and their step-cousin wants to sport some polarized lenses? That is what we were asking ourselves so we did what any good millennial would do. We Googled it.
Sure did! Thanks Google!
It's nearly impossible to see people without polarized lenses.
Don't take it from us. Take it from this image we found. It's like they aren't even there!? Don't be careless with other's existence.I Care About Existence
Another Witty Joke
Why not just keep going with this content?
I mean, we'll probably run out of stuff to say eventually, but for now this is feeling reeeaaal goooood.You Can Feel Good Too
That was trippy.
Did anyone else notice that the animated gif was of the text that you were reading? How did we do that? I feel weird now. Let's keep this moving and pretend like that didn't happen.
Girls on a boat
That's so much better. Looks like you would have fun with these.
It's obvious from our research that the polarized lenses directly result in increased fun... and boats.Always Wanted One Of Those
Seriously. A boat.
Just think, your very own boat. Sure sounds awesome.
Guess you will be needing these. Fortunately, it is a relatively low investment compared to the enjoyment you will get out of them.If You Buy It They Will Come
Let's take this opportunity to be sure you got it.
To live a happier, more fulfilled life, give your
to Pit Viper.Take My Money Please
No matter what science tells us, polarized lenses are death magic
And to be feared.Give In To Fear
We're right behind you so you better buy them
OR ELSE.No Pressure Though
Prefer dial-up over fiber?
You've Got Mail